38/52 – I’m behind in my postings, again. Perhaps it has been the return to the school year and the busyness that goes along with it, or the chaos associated with overlapping extra curriculars as summer’s end and fall’s begin. Perhaps it has been that my “big girl camera” was back at Nikon being serviced for 3 loooong weeks and I was making due with my old SLR. Perhaps too it was because my other world, my law job, has been ridiculously busy since Labour Day that I feel like I am barely treading water to keep up most days. All possibilities but I’ve also been feeling uncreative and wistful and sort of “raw” these past few weeks. Sometimes people who shouldn’t disappoint. And when they do, my tendency is to think too much and to retreat rather than to let it be “water off a duck’s back” as my grandmother would have said.
This picture may be my current favourite of my oldest two. Taken on Sat Sep 19th while my littlest was spending a solo weekend with nana and grandpa, it captures a rare tender moment between S and II. They are less than two years apart in age and for so long were inseparable; the best of friends. Things have changed over the years. While she continues to ADORE him, he is much more aloof and at times so harsh on her sensitive soul. It breaks my heart. It’s made worse seeing how loving he is towards the littlest, and how this sister sees the differences in how he treats them. Sigh. Sibling “stuff”. Parenting “stuff”. But on this Saturday morning they were getting along and just hanging out. Apart from the fact that he is choosing to be in the same room as her, the body language makes my heart swell with joy. Because maybe, just maybe, they will be ok. Maybe she will look at this one day and remember that he loves her too. And maybe as they grow up there is a hope for a relationship between siblings when mom and dad aren’t creating it for them. I sincerely hope so. Life can be lonely without.